Why is there chaos in Downing Street?

So another week of chaos at Downing Street has unfolded with high profile exits of senior advisors etc, and as we watch political correspondents falling over themselves to give their own opinions, it made me wonder if there is an explanation related to the Myers Briggs Type Indicator that goes some way to explaining the chaos, so I did a little bit of research to help me understand better why things might have run the way they have in recent months with Boris at the helm.  

I checked a few different websites, and they all seemed to indicate that Boris Johnson is an ENTP type.  As an ISFJ, he’s my complete opposite! What does this mean for what’s been going on recently?  What are those typical characteristics?  The different letters mean the following: 

• E = Extrovert (v I = Introversion)

• N = Intuition (v S = Sensing)

• T = Thinking (v F = Feeling)

• P = Perceiving (v J = Judging)

Looking at the above, the Extroversion element is probably not unexpected, as Boris seems to enjoy bouncing ideas off people rather than inwardly reflecting, especially if you watch him at the dispatch box.  The Intuition element indicates that he prefers to look at the bigger picture and strategy, rather than the detail of what needs to be done.  If we think about what he has promised during press conferences (i.e. the number of tests we would be doing at various stages etc)… he promises to deliver, but he then needs more people around him to get the detail done, and the plan delivered. On the Thinking part, this means his Head rules his Heart, and again, based on his interactions this is probably not surprising.  Finally, for the Perceiving element, this indicates that he prefers to be more spontaneous and flexible than organise himself within a fixed plan.  Well, that’s a Eureka moment, and probably explains why Brexit is still being negotiated as his personality type actually gets energised by last minute pressure, and why someone like me then panics as I like to work more methodically towards the deadline (and hence why a lot of the British population is also concerned, whereas Boris has the belief it will be done!)

I think what’s really interesting with this type is how they deal with stress situations… this type can react by generating possibilities with no data or follow through, withdrawing and avoiding people, working harder but less effectively.  They need to therefore spend a bit more time reflecting on what they need to do, talking to others to get support with problems (although they wouldn’t want to be offered a solution!), and bringing more organisation into their portfolio.  

In my previous work life, I often operated in a Chief of Staff role using my attention to detail and organisation skills to support the Team Lead.  The Team Leads were often the opposite type to me, and a similar story to the above would have played out when working with them, without my intervention and work ethic.  Therefore, my conclusion would be that Mr J needs to ensure he gets some more Sensing and Judging types within his new team in the coming weeks to help bring equilibrium of thoughts and deliverables going forward.  Otherwise, we are going to continue seeing chaos reigning and being reported for a long time to come! And regardless of political persuasion, that’s not good for the country! 

Coaching Accreditation – What does it mean?

This week, I received the exciting news that I had passed my Accreditation upgrade with the Association for Coaching, and as a result, have moved from the Foundation Executive Coach level to Executive Coach level. A lot of work went into getting this upgrade signed off over the last few months, and some people may wonder whether it’s worth the effort, so I just thought I’d explain why I believe accreditation is so valuable. 

Coaching as a formal profession is a fairly new one in the world we live in today. Coaching will focus on unlocking a person's potential to maximise their own performance. It is about helping your clients to learn rather than teaching them. It is however a profession that in some respects is not heavily regulated, and has in recent years become a profession that people jump into when they would like to change career, and believe that their previous work experience alone can be used to sufficiently aid their transition into this field. When I was considering Coaching as a future career for myself back in 2013, there were lots of considerations that came into play as to how it aligned with my values, for example helping others, communication, authenticity, people contact. Before I proceeded, however, I also played to one of my strengths, and looked at the detail behind coaching to understand better what it entailed before making the financial commitment to attend some more formal training within the coaching arena. 

Having invested in my formal coach training qualification, it was also important for me, in line with my values of authenticity and expertise, to continue building my knowledge in the coaching arena, and as a result, I decided very early on that I needed to make that commitment, both to myself and my clients, to continue getting accredited as and when my qualification required renewal. Each level requires additional coaching hours and supervision hours, as well as a number of reflective practices designed to challenge the coach to think about how they operate well, and what perhaps they need to work on as well. It’s not an easy exercise to pull everything together, as you need provide logs of hours and continuing professional development, as well as getting your supervisor to reflect on their interactions with you. In addition, I had to provide a recording of a session, a number of reflective practice documents, and a personal assessment of my coaching style and approach. For someone who does not like to talk herself up, this was an interesting challenge! I spent a lot of time pulling all these different elements together over the course of a few weeks during Summer 2020, and submitted everything in August, and waited for the outcome. 

Now I have received my positive outcome, I am pleased and delighted to be able to call myself an AC Accredited Executive Coach, but really why does it matter? In whatever path you follow, I really do believe that you need to understand the importance of reviewing your professional development to continue to evolve yourself and your practice. The accreditation provides a formal route to do this and a formal recognition of what I have achieved to date. As you develop your own path, it’s important to ensure that you continue to feel challenged, and have enjoyment, interest and fulfilment in what you do. Undertaking a formal accreditation process such as the one I have been through recently enables me to review and understand better how I am developing as a Coach. I learned a lot from this process, and while the next cycle will again fill me with dread again when I do it in 3 years time, it is a great process to go through to think about where I have got to in my career and practice. The accreditation review provided me with some great acknowledgement of what I have done to date as well as some areas to work on going forward. 

In conclusion, accreditation matters as it provides a recognition of the quality of the coaching practice I undertake so that my clients can feel sufficiently comfortable and confident that I am supporting them in the best way that I can, and for me, this is really important as I continue to develop my practice.

The Circle of Influence v The Circle of Concern

It’s Day 1 of National Lockdown 2 in England. There’s also the small matter of a contested election result in the USA…. How do you view these events as they unfold?  Do they cause you stress, anxiety, sadness, concern?  However, what can you actually do to influence them?  That’s where reflecting on the circles of influence and concern , you can understand better what you can control which is key to giving you a different perspective on the situation.  

The concepts of Circles of Influence and Concern were brought to the world via Stephen Covey in his book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  The two circles can be described as follows: 

• Circle of Concern comprise things we are concerned about but we have little or no control over as they are outside your influence, i.e. Covid-19, Global Warming, Election results.

• Circle of Influence comprises things that concern you that you can do something about, and to a certain extent control, i.e. exercise, reading etc

On the picture, the white circle is the Circle of Influence, and the blue circle is the Circle of Concern, and there are examples of the sort of things that would fall into each circle.  

Situations such as Covid -19 will predominantly sit in the Circle of Concern, i.e. the media reporting, how people are behaving, the disease spread itself.  You feel concerned about these, but there is not much you can do to influence them.  However, we can influence how we personally deal with the situation, and some of the ways of doing this are as follows:  

• Being mindful of your own social distancing, and not putting others in danger if you think you may be infected, essentially being responsible

• Think about what social media you share – confirm its validity beforehand, especially if it is something that may make people feel vulnerable

• Try to be a more calming influence with people, and keep yourself with a positive mindset.  Be supportive of work colleagues, clients, friends and family

• Keep focussed on what you need to do both from a work perspective, as well as personally, so that you continue to deliver.  You need to be resilient and focussed during times like these, and you can influence that, even if you can’t influence the external effect that something such as Covid 19 might have on your business.  

The two circles can contract or expand dependent on how you as an individual decides to focus and cope with the situation you are dealing with.  If you take more personal responsibility to manage the situation that you can control yourself, you can expand that circle of influence, and with it, create more positivity around you i.e. I can say to myself “I can’t control the National Lockdown, but I can write some blogs for my clients to help them through this phase, as that may help some people”, and this expands my circle of influence, and makes me feel happier.  In contrast, if I spend too much time worrying about the US Election Result, and  what it means for the future of the country and its citizens i.e. civil unrest etc, my mind might go into panic mode, and expand that circle of concern such that I lose focus and use too much thinking time on that, rather than thinking about the things that matter to me more i.e. friends, family etc

An interesting reflection at this point would potentially be around the Black Lives Matter movement to understand how something can span both circles potentially.  Initially, people may well have placed this into their Circle of Concern, but in recent months, people have potentially been able to shift part of this arena into the Circle of Influence by protesting, writing more openly about it on their social media etc.  

It’s useful to look at the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern if you are feeling particularly stressed, anxious or vulnerable about something that is outside of your control.  If you overly focus on the elements within the Circle of Concern, this can lead to you potentially allowing what’s in that circle to control you, and dominate your thinking and your life.  If you instead can focus on the elements within the Circle of Influence, you become more free and able to manage your own destiny more.  We all have fears, concerns and anxieties, and that is OK, but understanding how to channel your time and focus better to help you navigate these situations really is key for you in the future.  Good luck!   

The Art of a True Apology…. What listening to an enlightening podcast between Brene Brown and Harriet Lerner can give you?

As many of you are aware, I recently attended a facilitated course based on Brene Brown’s book “Daring Greatly”, called “The Daring Way”. I have taken such a lot from this course, and one thing in particular is that it’s given me an appetite to learn more about her research and subjects that sit on the periphery of her findings around shame, vulnerability and empathy. I have downloaded Brene’s podcasts called “Unlocking Us!” and back in May 2020, she ran through a two parter called “I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters” where she talked with renowned psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Harriet Lerner about how to say those two difficult words “I’m Sorry!”. 

You may wonder why a Business and Executive Coach is talking about apologies, but what resonated with me as I listened to these as I was out running is that, as Brene says, people seem to have been apologising a lot more while we have been in lockdown, and I really agree with that observation. However, if you are saying those two little words, it’s so important that you really mean it! The main premise of the podcast was for them to discuss role play apology scenarios to enable the listener to understand how you could apologise more effectively. In my role, I have recently heard about lots of work situations where the tensions of dealing with working remotely for example have caused unexpected conflict, and therefore understanding how to apologise in a good way so that you can move on together in a work context… and maybe you can translate tis into your home life too! 

 Dr Lerner identifies that there are 9 Essential Ingredients to a True Apology… these include: 

• Don’t include a “but”, as this means you are trying to justify what you said 

• Not asking the hurt party to do anything, even forgive, and that is essential for the apology to be validated 

• Accepting responsibility for any mistakes made 

• Aiming not to blame nor shame 

I’ve attached the full list of Essential Ingredients so you can take a look at them in more detail. 

There were a couple of key elements that I took from the discussions, apart from the Essential Ingredient list: 

 • When you receive an apology that is whole hearted, it can help you feel safe, enable you to let go more easily and help to re-establish the relationship. 

• You have to accept that sometimes you are not going to receive an apology, and that says more about the individual’s own self worth than anything about yourself. Sometimes it’s better to accept that you won’t receive an apology than to receive one that is not fully intentioned! 

 • The power of listening is just as important as the power of understanding. This is particularly important if someone comes to you to discuss a situation that is troubling them that they feel you are involved with. It’s important to listen well, rather than become defensive which is our typical human reaction. In such a situation, we need to invest in improving our listening skills as much as we do our talking skills, as this could improve how we interact in situations such as these.

This was a fantastic “masterclass” in the art of the apology, and has left me wanting to know more about Dr Lerner’s work. I’ll leave you with this quote: 

 “If only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing”. 

If we take this on our journey as we navigate the challenges ahead, and say those two important words, “I’m Sorry” in a whole hearted way, both you and they will feel more complete.

Well, 2020 hasn’t been the year we were all expecting it to be, and recent events have shown to me the importance of trying to achieve a more balanced lifestyle going forward. I think reflecting on how you can find better balance is really important in the current circumstances, and ensuring you reflect on your whole self and not just the areas that create noise for you at the current time is crucial.   

The Wheel of Life can be used as a Reflection Tool for individuals to understand how they can better balance their lives. The visual nature of the tool enables people to view themselves and their lives in a more interesting way than just talking about it. Life is always going to keep pulling you in different directions. One day the most important thing may be family, the next day, Work. A Wheel of Life is the starting point for getting clear on what matters most to you in your life, seeing if anything is out of balance and deciding what needs to be done to close the gap between your current situation and your ideal one. When you first do the exercise on your current state, don’t be afraid if you have a “Wonky Wheel”!

So, what exactly do you need to do?  

• Create your Wheel (there are many templates available via search engines, but here’s one above)
• Identify your areas of focus – I normally suggest 8 sectors and these can cover any number of areas for example: Career, Health, Personal Growth, Partner, Me, Family, Fun, Recreation, Hobbies, Friends, Spirituality, Giving, Attitude  
• Review your Current and Future State – Mark out of 10 as to where you see your current state, and then where you would like to see your future state. You need to be clear on where you are in your current situation, in order to assess where you should go, and rank as follows: 0 = completely unsatisfied to 10 = completely satisfied. Then in the Future, reflect on where you’d like to see it. If you are struggling to decide, ask yourself some questions around the sector i.e. for career, am I earning enough etc.  

Once you’ve drawn up your current and future wheel, you need to identify the goals you need to work on to move from the current state to the future state. You should generate explicit action plans by sector to move you from your current state to your future state. If you struggle to do this, think about using the following questions:  

• What is the smallest thing I could do to make progress in this area of my life immediately?
• What would i need to do to get to a rating of 10 out of 10"?
• What is one big thing that I know I need to do in this area of my life to make progress, but what is holding me back?

Why don’t you take some time out of your day, decide on the key areas of focus for yourself, and generate and then review your wheel? It could open up a better understanding of yourself and what matters most to you. I’d love to hear from those of you who complete the exercise, and how you found visually reviewing your wheel, rather than discussing the issues without this tool.  Enjoy drawing up your wheels! 

Why do I still feel “meh” after Coronavirus Lockdown?

So, the last few months have been an experience, haven’t they?  We’ve all had to adapt our lives to deal with everyone being at home rather than being spread across workplaces, schools, etc.  I think once shops, leisure outlets, and then schools re-opened, there was an initial flurry of hope from everyone including myself, but now I’m feeling flat anxious and nervous again so why is that? 

 

I’ve reflected a lot on this recently, and have been reading a book called “Just F***ing Do It” by Noor Herbert over the last couple of weeks, as I went into this “meh” dip.  This was a great reminder that those negative emotions are part of the cycle you can fall into: negative thoughts, leading to negative behaviours, leading to negative feelings.  So, how do you pull yourself out of that? The book encourages you to lead more with your “Soul” than your “Ego” to change the “Universe” you are living in! This is by changing your vibes, from negative to positive, and you have to do this consciously, making the decision to move forward in a loving and powerful way (using your Soul).

 

You need to give yourself goals to provide clarity as to where you are going in your life, plan effectively, and do it.  

 

So, how am I going to get myself out of my “meh” moment?  I’ve given myself some clearly defined goals – increasing client interaction, getting exercise back into my new daily routine, and doing some personal development courses and reading.  I’ll let you know how I get on but I already feel better having those goals to work towards. 

 

13^th September 2020

How can you be politically savvy at work without crossing the line into the “political” abyss?

I got asked in a Coaching session recently whether they had to become one of those “political” people to get ahead at work.  I think we need to be careful what we mean by being “political”.  Some people take it to the extreme, and start clambering up that greasy pole chucking anyone off who gets in their way, but actually the better way to do this would just be to think smarter about what you do.  It is something which comes more easily to some than others, but here are some things to think about in that “political” career life: 

• Build a strong working relationship with your boss.  They are higher up the pecking order than you, and so have more direct access to people higher up the organisation.  Ensure your boss is “on side” and remember you need to manage this relationship well for this to be effective for you going forward
• Some people don’t feel comfortable promoting themselves, but learning how to do this subtly, and under the radar will mean you can put yourself on the map.  Think about regular update communication if your role warrants it, or use the chit chat at the start of a meeting before everyone arrives to let people know what you are up to.  Build a list of your strengths, or even create your USP that you can use to market yourself in a way you feel comfortable with.
• You need to be able to navigate yourself effectively around the organisation you are working in, and be adaptable when the influencers change
• Build your network and sponsorship within an organisation.  In addition, if you are leading a team, make sure they trust and respect you so that you all work together to achieve what you want to achieve in a collaborative and cooperative way.  The secret is to work both upwards and downwards.  
• Make sure you know who the people are above your boss who are the ones who will make the decisions about your career and be able to endorse what you do.   You may not get to see them that often, so make sure you use any time you do interact with them wisely, by having a question or two ready to ask, or be willing to provide an update of how you and your team are getting on.  
• You should have an interest and excitement for the business you are working within, otherwise you may eventually struggle to continue being enthusiastic about it going forward.  Be visibly positive about the business, especially with those that matter within the organisation, both upwards and within your team.  
• Remember to smile when at work - it really does relax your face muscles so you look happier to be there!